Peter and David DeLuise, Director and Actors, Stargate (GATECON)

David Read: Good morning Gatecon. All right Francis, save my ass, run titles. [30 second break in audio for intro sequence].

David Read: Good morning Gatecon. Sunday. Have you had a good event? Thank you. I have not asked this of you yet. Please log into YouTube, Dial the Gate, subscribe to us, like this panel, it will encourage the algorithm to get more Stargate content going. Enough of that gobbledygook out of the way, Mr. Peter DeLuise and David DeLuise?

David Read: Good to see you my friend.

Peter DeLuise: Thanks for having us.

David Read: It takes me a minute.

Peter DeLuise: So I’m not the first one to do that.

David Read: No, I think you’re good now.

David DeLuise: Good morning, everyone.

Peter DeLuise: Good morning. Hello, Vancouver.

David Read: Thank you so much for accepting our offer to come back. This is a privilege. This is a treat to have you both together. I am priveleged to call this one my friend and his little dachshund [inaudible] great uncle.

David DeLuise: Little Tony.

David Read: This is an absolute treat, thank you.

Peter DeLuise: Well, I kind of had to you had my brother. I had no excuse, right?

David Read: I’m gonna go for questions right off the bat. That one is going to come up at near the end of the show. Oh, okay.

Peter DeLuise: That person has to hold their question.

David Read: Yes.

Peter DeLuise: The whole time?

David Read: The one sitting in the front row there? Was it for the one sitting in the front row? Well, you know what? Let’s go ahead and have him ask the question,

Peter DeLuise: This better be good.

Jeff Gulka: It’s working. Hello, here we go. Hey, this question is for Peter. I’m not sure if you remember all the actors you work with or whatever. There was an episode and season two episode 20 called Show and Tell where there was a young kid walking through the Stargate, a Reetou. I hear working with kids can be very difficult. I hear that guy might be kind of a jerk and I was just wondering if you had any memories of working with that young actor?

Peter DeLuise: I don’t know if I should. Is he done with this question? Is that Greg? Is that Greg?

David Read: Jeff.

Jeff Gulka: Jeff Gulka right? Last name Gulka right? Dude, you’re the actual dude. Come here man. Come here. Get up here. Get up. Get up here.

David Read: Jeff come on stage.

Peter DeLuise: Come on, come on over here. So you had to come through the Stargate right?

Jeff Gulka: That’s right.

Peter DeLuise: Let’s reenact this. You go through the Stargate. So you came through the Stargate, right?

David Read: Looking like Kenny.

Peter DeLuise: We shot your feet and then we tilted up, right. We’re tight shot on the feet coming up and stop. And then we came up and it was a little kid. And it was you right?

Jeff Gulka: That’s right. And you were pointing a gun at me.

Peter DeLuise: Alright. I’ll be the guy in the gun. I was in the gun, right? And then the thing stopped. I was pointing the gun at you and I looked to the side “is that a little kid I am pointing a giant gun at? Yeah, that was my cameo for that particular episode, right? That was kind of cool. And then because you were underage at the time, I had to shoot you out, didn’t I? You looked at me and you said, “what are you going to do? How are you going to shoot me out of this? I’m the focus of this entire team.” I was like, “Oh, this kid’s getting on my last nerve.” To endear myself to you, I gave you a game shark.

Jeff Gulka: That’s right, also in exchange for not consuming any sugar on set.

Peter DeLuise: Right, because you wouldn’t want you getting antsy right?.

Jeff Gulka: I was very into the Fuzzy Peaches at the time.

Peter DeLuise: Oh, Fuzzy Peaches, sounds dirty when you say it. Give me a hug dude. I’m so glad you’re here, that’s awesome.

Jeff Gulka: Good to see you.

Peter DeLuise: Don’t trip.

Jeff Gulka: Oh I’m aware.

Peter DeLuise: All right. That’s cool that he’s here.

David DeLuise: You guys all remember that episode.

Peter DeLuise: And he had the little hoodie. That was neat. I really liked that. I remember him looking at me with this really smug expression on his face. Obviously he’d worked before, but he’s like, “how you going to shoot me out? I turn into a pumpkin in like five minutes.”

David Read: Anyone else ever have a question?

David DeLuise: There’s one in the back, the paddle.

David Read: The paddle, number two?

Audience Member: Hi, thank you for being here. We just rewatched Fragile Balance and I always amazed at the performance by mini O’Neill, you know, Michael Welch, and I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about that episode.

Peter DeLuise: Michael Welch. So that was mini me for Richard Dean Anderson. That’s right. Michael Welch had not watched the show, what ended up happening was I took on the role of “just do it like this.” Because I was so familiar with the way in which the dryness and the personality that Richard Dean Anderson inevitably would say his lines, I would just cut through the BS and just go, “look, he just does it like this, he stands like this, he throws these things aside.” By the time Richard Dean Anderson got on set, he had his tics and his little thingys kind of figured out. Also Michael’s was at the time a very excellent, he’s not here to is he?

David Read: He’s not. I have only so many rabbits I can pull out of my hat.

Peter DeLuise: So the wryness, the behavior. It’s always amusing when a grownup’s personality is stuck in a child’s body. That an interesting thing if you can pull that off.

David Read: I know no one who behaves that way at all.

David DeLuise: He’s me, he means me. I did that.

Peter DeLuise: I don’t know what else I can [say]. What more I can say about that was Michael Welch was imitating me imitating Richard Dean Anderson. That’s how that worked.

David Read: And he was also having a bit of acne that week. He was like, “I really need this to go away.” and Peter was like, “leave it.” It’s a kid going through hormones, you know. Peter DeLuise is a sick genius.

Peter DeLuise: Well, there’s nothing we could do to fix it.

David Read: Well makeup, like covering. You were like “let’s bring it out.”

Peter DeLuise: Just so you know, a three dimensional thing, you’re never going to fix it unless you throw money at it in post as a visual effect, right?

David Read: David, what was the advice that Peter gave you when you stood up? I love this line.

David DeLuise: I was asked the other day, “did I audition for it? Or what happened?” You had called me [Peter] and said, you know, you guys wanted me to come and do this. and then when I got there, here, you said, “you have to act like a grown up David.” I want to do a whole thing with you where I act like Peter, and then Peter acts like me. How do you how do you imitate me?

Peter DeLuise: [Peter does silly laugh imitating David]

David DeLuise: “David, you have to act like a grown up.” No, but I love that. I talked about the fact that I got to do this part and be a grown up. It was really fun to do that.

Peter DeLuise: Well you’re playing a police officer who was dating a really brilliant…

David DeLuise: Scientist, military person.

Peter DeLuise: Yeah. I was like, “if you look like a goof, you will make Carter look like a goof because why would you be interested in a guy like you?”

David DeLuise: And how did I do everyone? That’s funny. Okay, more questions. Paddle one.

Audience Member: Hello. Stargate has been off the air for many many years and we as fans are still showing up to conventions. What do you think about the fans still loving the show and coming back?

David DeLuise: I think it’s great.

Peter DeLuise: That’s a brilliant answer.

David DeLuise: Subtitles “Peter just said you’re an idiot.”

Peter DeLuise: I think when the show is, like it’s a little bit dated, there is the odd mullet haircut right? But overall, it’s a testament to the quality of the show when people can still enjoy it and they can introduce their kids to it and it still holds up as not period. I did a show called 21 Jump Street as a much younger person. Because we were trying to be fashion forward, a lot of the things that we did on the show don’t hold up. Quite frankly they look ridiculous, including my mullet hair.

David DeLuise: Yeah, but we loved your mullet Peter.

Peter DeLuise: Thank you for that. I didn’t know I had hockey hair at the time, the mullet. I thought I was just copying Mel Gibson from Lethal Weapon. I thought “that’s a good hair cut, I’ll just do that.”. I’m getting sidetracked. The point I’m trying to make is, if the material holds up over time, that’s a testament to the core thing. There were two franchises off of that, right? If people are still following the show and they’re still invested in it, that’s another reason to bring it back, right? I think that if it does come back, one of the reasons it will have come back is because of you all that are sitting right there, taking the time to show your interest in the original material.

David Read: Yeah, like Brad said, it’s evergreen. There’s something about it. It continues to remain topical, in some spooky cases becomes more topical, depending on the subject, over time.

Peter DeLuise: Agreed. It’s absolutely without comparison, it is the absolute best tool to tell the story. It is the perfect quote, door in, unquote, to getting through any story. All you have to do is walk through this door, this portal and you can find anything you want on the other side of that portal. Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner knew that when they were producing Outer Limits and they saw that the show was an MGM property, and they went, “that’s gotta be a series, that’s the most perfect story device in the history of story devices.” That’s how that came to pass and it still is, it’s still the most perfect way to start a story. All you have to do is walk through that thing and you can find anything on the other side.

David DeLuise: Yes, there’s not a paddle but a hand. Oh, there’s another paddle.

David Read: There’s a paddle too.

Peter DeLuise: You have to pay extra for the paddle?

David Read: I think they’re tipping the guys frankly, that’s how they do it all these years.

Audience Member: Hi, guys. I was wondering if you could say “bigger.”

Peter DeLuise: Yeah, so that’s from Wormhole X-Treme!

David Read: Imposter as well.

Peter DeLuise: Yeah. So on Wormhole X-Treme! we had this running joke where the special effects guys were showing the explosions. So the first one was [small]. “No, no, bigger. What is it about the word bigger that you don’t understand? Look at my lips. Bigger, bigger, BIGGER!”

David DeLuise: I actually have a question. This is not a plant or a thing. How did it come about to have Dad on the show to do Urgo? I was having breakfast with people today and they said that was one of their favorite episodes.

David Read: Urgo, top five, easily? Yes?

Peter DeLuise: One of the staff writers whose name escapes me at the moment, the one who was credited by the “written by” on that. He, I think, pitched the story where whereby the amalgamation of their inner child, their ID, their AI ID was coming together.

David Read: Tor Alexander Valenza.

Peter DeLuise: Tor, I think it started with Tor’s pitch and Brad recognized that that would have to be a very special character, the AI. Is that something you need to deal with? I remember Tor had this really interesting sort of shit-eating grin on his face and he and Brad kind of came up to me and went “we have this idea, we want to know what you think. There’s this fun episode and we were thinking that maybe your dad could play the title role?” I was like, “my dad does comedy, his brand of comedy is not conducive to this show. Are you sure?” And they go “well, we think when you hear the idea…” and after I heard the idea I was “like, oh my dad’s kill this this is gonna be awesome.” I remember being on speakerphone, Brad was on the speakerphone and dad was in Vermont. We owned a house in Vermont and my dad was in the back. We were making small talk and he said, “I’m just looking out at the…” I said “hey, Dad, it’s your son, Peter.” “Yeah, I remember you. What do you want?” “So, yeah, I’m here with Brad Wright. He’s my boss from Stargate and they were thinking… I’ll let him talk.” My dad said, “I’m just looking at the view so go ahead. I’m not doing anything just ask me what you’re gonna ask me.” I was like, “okay.” So Brad started in and then my dad went, “oh my god, it’s bigger than a breadbox, it’s got a tail.” I was like, “oh, he’s looking at the woods. There’s wild creatures out in the in the forest, that’s what that is. He doesn’t segue, he doesn’t transition at all. Brad goes. “I know, I know, I get it, I get it.” After Brad was done finishing telling him, my dad was gonna say yes no matter what he was gonna say. It was an excuse to come up to Vancouver and it was a job and he didn’t have to audition.

Peter DeLuise: Yes, that was all part of it. My dad was like, “Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes.” “Well, we haven’t finished this, it’s not just one character, it’s two characters.” Is it Togar?. Yeah, so he was super into it. The whole rest of it was just making sure he was comfortable. We gave him a really substantial chair. You know the one in the kitchen? That chair was from Stargate. That chair, his onset chair, was a substantial chair and he could sit right there, right next to where he needed to be.

David Read: Seeing his child.

David DeLuise: He had a hard time getting around and walking. His hips were not great.

Peter DeLuise: You can kind of tell when he’s moving around, but he was so full in every other aspect of that. So getting him there and making sure he was comfortable so he could be the funniest guy possible, that was all the trick of that. He liked this chair so much that the Stargate production wrapped it up and sent it to him and he sat on that chair for, I don’t know…

David DeLuise: The rest of his life.

Peter DeLuise: The rest of his life in the kitchen. That was his main chair.

Peter DeLuise: And directing him?

Peter DeLuise: Well directing him was awesome because I knew what he could do and I knew that we shouldn’t limit him to the script. I always kept him alive in the two shot and then I would shoot him and then keep that alive in the two shot and then I’d shoot the other person. The two shot would keep him going so I get another a couple of extra takes out of him. He would just make stuff up and the other actors would just be trying not to laugh as best they could.

David Read: Christopher Judge, you want to go and see some bloopers, Urgo, according to Christopher, the amount of film that you guys went through was fairly extreme quite.

Peter DeLuise: Quite a lot. To Brad Wright’s credit, I only had a certain amount of time in the editing room so I put in all the jokes that I thought were there but Brad went even deeper. He mined all the gold nuggets and also it was up to him how much do we dare go with these Urgo jokes or not?

David DeLuise: That was a good question.

Peter DeLuise: That was a good one. Another one?

David Read: Paddle, paddle paddle. Where’s the paddle paddle? Paddle? I see up there. A paddle over there.

Audience Member: Hi. One of my favorite episodes was Upgrades. The bar scene where Sam’s doing the pool shot and stuff, I don’t remember where I learned this so I’m wondering if you guys could elaborate more on it, but the bet on the table and the people in the background. I remember learning it wasn’t really so much acting as it was an actual bet and everything and I was just wondering if you guys could elaborate more on that.

David Read: O’Malley’s with the restaurant?

Peter DeLuise: Oh, the pool shot. I didn’t direct that one. Upgrades is the one where they’re all moving around like the Flash, like super fast. I wish I knew the answer to that. I’m so sorry, I didn’t direct that episode and I was probably prepping the next one. I’m out of the loop, I apologize for not having the answer to that, how they did the pool shot.

David Read: I don’t know the story as well. Shame on me. Who else? There we go.

Audience Member: Hi. I was just wondering how you actually got involved with Stargate.

David Read: Take us back to the beginning. How’d you get into it?

David DeLuise: Oh, how did you get involved?

Peter DeLuise: So, there are two producers, Jonathan Glassner and John Smith, N. John Smith which totally sounds like a fake name. Like he’s in the witness protection agency or something. Both of those fellas were on show called 21 Jump Street and 21 Jump Street is how I got my start as a director. I was periodically coming up here to try to audition for local stuff and John Smith was there doing a show called Two which was east, eastman, it was a evil twin and a good twin and it was in the old days.

David Read: I have no idea what it is.

Peter DeLuise: I was auditioning for that show and after the audition was done John said, “hey, if you lived up here and you had your Canadian resident status you could qualify for Canadian content and I could hire you as a director. I know you’re a good director because you directed 21 Jump Street which I used to work on.” I was like “I’ll take you up on that.” It took me a while but I got my landed immigrant status as a Canadian and I called them and I said, “hey, John, went through a fair amount of trouble to get my status.” As I said, it took two years and I called them up and I was super excited. I said, “John, I got my status. I’m up here and I’m in Vancouver, do you have a job for me?” He’s like, “Well, Two’s canceled and this other show that I’m working on [Stargate] all the jobs are full but you’ll be the first alternate. I thought, basically, he was giving me the heave-ho, like, you went through all this trouble for nothing and you’re not gonna get a job. Then Mario Azzopardi, as it happens, dropped out of his directing assignment to go do a movie of the week which was a better deal for him, which left an opening for me. John said “we’re gonna slot you in.” Jonathan Glassner knew who I was already from having worked with me so I had his blessing as well. I had never worked with the Brad Wright before that moment. My job on that first show was just to endear myself to the cast, especially Richard Dean Anderson, because if he doesn’t like you, you’re out man. So I was like, “I’m gonna try to do the best I can and get through this.” It went, well, the courting phase went well, and they had me back. That’s the fastest way I could tell that story. Thank you for your question.

David Read: Anne Marie was in The Other Side and Cameron Mitchell’s ex from…

Peter DeLuise: The Bounty character?

Peter DeLuise: Bounty? Was it Bounty

David Read: Yes, and she was mentioned earlier. What’s her name?

David Read: Cameron Mitchell’s ex girlfriend.

Peter DeLuise: Anne Marie would know. Anne Marie stand up. There she is. My wife, I wake up to that every morning. Can you believe it?

David Read: Amy Vandenburg everyone.

Peter DeLuise: Amy? Nerney. Nerney. Yes, there we go.

David Read: Correct. What was it like having an Anne Marie in production on the Other Side?

Peter DeLuise: So the Other Side was awesome. You played Farrell right? I remember that because there was an ice cream franchise in California called Farrells. So I remember Farrell. Your hair was all swept back and you had the sci-fi do and she was the lieutenant of Rene Auberjonois as well. Great.

David Read: The reconnaissance vessel was an unmanned drone.

Peter DeLuise: Yes, that was the big twist at the end. We dropped a rock. Anne Marie was the lieutenant and they were all white people, that was another plot twist and they were warring against the black and brown people who were the breeders. They were just breeding willy nilly indiscriminately. Anne Marie was part of the bad guy group and she has piercing blue eyes which still haunt me to this day. She was amongst the bad guys, the white guys and then at the end it was rumbling, a typical James Bond ending, the headquarter’s caving in and we got to get out. I was like, “well, we don’t know what happens to Anne Marie’s character, we got to figure this out.” So what we did was, I said “l am going to do a quick cutaway of Anne Marie looking up and shying away from a giant rock. We dropped, in forced perspective, we dropped a giant Styrofoam rock in the foreground not unlike what you would see in Wormhole X-Treme. As we dropped it, she was so on it that she looked up and went, “ah” and fell exactly underneath the trajectory of this giant rock. I wasn’t looking at her at the time, I was looking at the onboard camera, as I want to do, to make sure we get the shot. I thought she’d really been hit. I thought, “oh my god, I just bonked my girlfriend on the head with a giant rock.” I was “are you okay?” and she got up laughing. She’s “of course I am. There’s the rock, there’s me. That’s what you set up.” I was like, “yeah, okay. I’m not usually this precise or antsy.” Anne Marie was so good that we had her back later for Bounty and she got to kiss on Browder. Well, he kissed on her and I was like, “hey, one take at a time, buddy. Give it a rest.”

David Read: It was so great to have her back. That was a great one. Amy had been mentioned earlier and the writers are like “we’ve already mentioned someone, let’s reuse that character, let’s build the world.”

Peter DeLuise: I love when they mention a character and then they introduce it for real. They have to go back in the files and figure out “what was your name again?”

David Read: Yeah, that’s right.

Peter DeLuise: I love that stuff.

David Read: Number one here. Number two, please. Number two. We’ll get to number one. You hang tight.

Audience Member: I’ve been hearing a lot of people talk and I’m not real caught up in it.

David DeLuise: This is Stargate?

Audience Member: No, no, I’m real caught up in that. I’m talking about the behind the scenes. I was just wondering, David you talked a little bit about what you were doing the other day. I would like to hear Peter talk about what he’s doing now. I don’t know whether it’s directing. Are you doing any cameo acting?

David Read: Currently?

Audience Member: Yes, yes right now.

David DeLuise: He’s doing a show called “When Calls the Heart”. He does many many directing gigs, he’s very busy. “Can I have a job?” No.

Peter DeLuise: Yeah, my brother’s right. A lot of the jobs that I’m getting lately have been from the Hallmark Channel. Does anybody here watch the Hallmark Channel? Oh, crossover? Nice. So not just sci-fi. Although some people might think When Calls the Heart is a bit of sci-fi because it’s a parallel universe where everything is wonderful. I’ve been directing When Calls the Heart quite a lot.

David DeLuise: If an acting part came up, would you do acting?

Peter DeLuise: For sure, yeah.

David DeLuise: Do you enjoy that as well? I know you and Anne Marie did a movie recently.

Peter DeLuise: Well, we were role playing to spice up our marriage, yeah. We did summer…what is it summer honey? All Summer Long, that was it, that was a thing that we did together. We took on a project a boat project and we made it into a dinner cruise. I mourn the loss of being able to perform. One of the unfortunate byproducts of being a director is I make more money and I have tons of responsibility, which is awesome, except my lifestyle is reflective of that. So when I try to work as an actor, especially as a local Canadian actor, it’s almost impossible to pay those those bills that I have to pay. If I’m going to do it, it invariably has to be something that I’m already directing because I’m available. I can’t turn down directing jobs to do acting jobs. The other part of that is a lot of these Canadian actors that you were seeing up here, they’re committed. They are going to have a family and they’re going to have a mortgage and stuff. They’ve got to hit the ground running and they have to work all the time. They’re constantly plugging away and many, many Canadian actors have to have a secondary income to fill in the gaps otherwise they can’t pay for the private school and the mortgages.

David DeLuise: Some American actors do as well!

David Read: Thank you. Virgin River?

Peter DeLuise: You know who’s doing Virgin River? Martin wood. That’s a wonderful series I have seen, I am almost all caught up. I haven’t seen this last season, but I’m all caught up. If you haven’t seen Virgin River I highly recommend it. Martin Wood, I think Andy Mikita even works on that show, does he? Yeah, I don’t know why they don’t call me, I’m available. That’s a wonderful show and I wish I was on it but I’m not. Andy Mikita and Martin Wood are directing that show.

David Read: Number one, we’re back.

Peter DeLuise: Number one.

Audience Member: Peter, can you share a story from SeaQuest?

David Read: Story from SeaQuest? Dagwood Dagwood.

Peter DeLuise: So you know SeaQuest? Who here has even heard of SeaQuest? That’s pretty cool. You want me to share a story from SeaQuest? Patrick Hasburgh was a writer, producer, showrunner on 21 Jump Street and he migrated to SeaQuest. He called me and he said, “there’s this interesting exotic part that I think you would be right for.”

David Read: And this is after “Whale Song”?

Peter DeLuise: Correct. I had done with, Jonathan Banks was amazing.

David Read: “We are going to leave and turn ourselves in.”

Peter DeLuise: So Patrick said, “there’s this guest spot, it’s not much of a thing, but it is something so we’ll get you in there.” Then a new part was coming up which was scheduled to be a local. They were moving the show from L.A, Universal L.A, to Orlando. They had designated that part, the part that I ended up playing, as a local part. They weren’t gonna pay the extra money for the salary or the relocation fee. Because it was such an exotic, wonderful character, I was like, “this feels cool, I would love to do this.” I knew at the time that he had the modelled skin, he was an experiment. Genetically Engineered Life Form, a G.E.L.F. He had all the different skin tones and that modelled look made up his skin camouflage, that’s how that was supposed to work. He had superhuman strength but because he was the prototype they hadn’t developed his mental skills very well. They put an importance on discipline versus smart so he came out not unlike Lennie from Of Mice and Men, a big little kid. I was like, “this is a great opportunity, I really want it. I don’t really care about the salary, I’m happy to get back in front of the camera.” So I said, “yeah, let’s let’s make this happen.” My niece..

David DeLuise: My daughter.

Peter DeLuise: Riley was just learning to talk and when…

David DeLuise: She was 8 [years old].

Peter DeLuise: So she was a great character study for that. . So anyway, you would say, “say, mama” and she would go “dada.” But this noise [mmmm] she was like she was warming up her vocal cords. I stole that. I stole that speech thing and so many other things where I was just relaxing my throat as character. I shaved my head in anticipation getting the roll only to find out that they couldn’t get any of the other G.E.L.Fs, nickname daggers, they couldn’t get any of the other actors to shave their heads.

David Read: You were the only one?

David DeLuise: You were the prototype.

Peter DeLuise: That’s how they justified it. They were like, “well, Peter’s already shaved his head, what are we going to do?” It was a good look because it was exotic and it was different so I was like, “oh, I’m happy to keep it.” William deVry was one of the daggers and William deVry ended up playing one of the Tok’ra.

David Read: Aldwin.

Peter DeLuise: Yes, thank you, Aldwin, for reminding me. He said “what do you think I should do? I’m Canadian.” I said “go to Canada, man. Yeah, totally go to Canada. You work all the time.” I think he did. He did go to Canada and he did work all the time and he ended up being a Tok’ra on Stargate.

David Read: You had one of the best one liners on SeaQuest, my favorite, “I’m not a freak, I’m a prototype.”

Peter DeLuise: The horsey line was adlib. “Hello horsey.” Then Michael and I had to walk “I saw a horsey.” “A horse? A horse is a horse.” And then my brother goes “of course of course,” which is from Mister Ed. We were for sure Patrick was gonna get mad at us, he was like, “that was hilarious, we’re gonna keep that.”

David Read: See SeaQuest if you haven’t, it is a gem. One of the best childhood memories of the other from each of you and then we’ll wrap it up.

David DeLuise: Well, my childhood memory, I’ve mentioned this recently, that for some reason my parents left Peter in charge of me and my brother when he was 17. We have these things on sticks with pillows called Batakas and he would wake me up at 2 in the morning and beat me out of bed and then look at me and go “run.” I would run and I would try to turn on the light but he had already cut the power at the fuse box and he would hunt me with a with a BB gun. No. I forgot you were here. Hi, David DeLuise, how are you.

Peter DeLuise: You tell this story every time.

David DeLuise: It’s a good story, what do you want?

Peter DeLuise: I mean, we were just kids back then.

David Read: Well, now you know where you have to top it.

Peter DeLuise: Yeah, I don’t know. Do you tell this story often?

David DeLuise: No, I’ve never told that story, it was brand new. Peter come on. No, I love that story. It’s a good story. There’s a lot of wonderful things. Peter was a very good older brother, although he would get paralyzed a lot on top of me.

Peter DeLuise: That was the game we used to play, yes.

David DeLuise: Then he would get unparalyzed and I would try to move and then he would get paralyzed again on top of me.

Peter DeLuise: He would squirm out and then I would go “oh, I’m not paralyzed anymore.”

David DeLuise: But to be real, we used to make movies when we were kids. That was the fun time, that we got to be creative. My dad had gotten us a video camera when video cameras were not easily accessible.

Peter DeLuise: You guys remember the old video cameras that had that whole huge cassette thing? You still have it? You had to put it on your shoulder and you had to carry it along, we had one of those.

David DeLuise: We had to make movies as kids, that was what was so fun.

Peter DeLuise: Even before that my dad would have a Super 8 camera and he would edit in the camera. He would shoot the master and then he’d say “now say this” and it was silent. Every time he projected the whole movie he would have to reloop it for us in real time while we were watching it.

David DeLuise: We did Dracula and we did the Bloody Brothers.

David Read: Your own version?

David DeLuise: Yes, They’re on YouTube if you look that up. You can see that Michael, our brother, did a really smart thing before my dad passed away. He recorded him doing the narration so if you guys want to see that you can.

Peter DeLuise: We use to enjoy it, yeah. Quick story, I’ve got to tell a story on him now too, right? Okay, so…

David DeLuise: Shit.

David Read: You’re not getting out of it.

Peter DeLuise: Do you guys remember the movie Young Frankenstein?

Peter DeLuise: In the movie Young Frankenstein there was a little girl, the little girl sketch where she would be throwing the flowers into the thing right before the monster came. Do you guys remember that? It was based on the original Frankenstein because the pretty little flower go on the thing and then the monster picks up the girl and he throws the pretty little thing in the water. Mel Brooks’ version lampooned that but the song, and we were about the right age, the song was, “oh, I love my pretty little flower” and that’s what the girl was singing when the monster came up. So, for years after that movie came out, invariably when my brother would go to the can, he would sing “oh, I love my pretty little flower,” and he would never close the door. He’d be just on the pooper “oh, I love my pretty little flower.” But he didn’t know the rest of the lyrics so he would start again, “oh, I love my pretty little flower.” So about 15 minutes into this experiment you’d say “oh my god, he’s singing “oh, I love my pretty little flower” over and over and over, with the door open. You’d hide around the corner and you go “I’ll wait just to the end of this next one, “oh, I love my pretty little flower” and then you come around the corner and you say “will you shut up about the pretty little flower. You’d scare the shit out of him which was impossible because all the shit was out of him by then.

David DeLuise: I don’t remember that. That was funny.

Peter DeLuise: Oh, I love my pretty little flower.

David Read: Did you go back there and flush?

Peter DeLuise: Oh yeah, I gotta flush. Also, one of the most krass movies ever committed to celluloid, Blazing Saddles, was the only movie we ever had in our gigantic…you guys remember those three quarter inch video machines? They were this big right and they were as big as your head, the cassette. That was the only video we had so we watched Blazing Saddles thousands and thousands of times, we knew every bad word in that movie. In real life, there were no grownups saying bad words in front of us so we were convinced that the grownups who had written this movie had gone to our school to figure out what all the bad words are. We knew them at school but no grownups seem to know them. My dad thought that was quite amusing that we had a complete disconnect. They must have found these words out at our school.

David Read: Peter and David DeLuise everyone.

David DeLuise: Oh, I love my pretty little flower.

David Read: Guys, thank you so much.

David DeLuise: Thank you you guys.

David Read: Hope you had a great convention. My name is David Read for DialtheGate, like, share, subscribe. We’ll see you on the other side.